YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Hold on to your brittle britches children, Your Mama knows that 99.99% of you don’t have a clue who Misters Feder and Trosclair are. Bear with us, we’ll get to letting you know, but first we have got to vent just a little…
Do y’all remember back in the late 1990s and early 200os when all your favorite programs on the T.V. were constantly being interrupted by commercials for some big mouth Jamaican psychic sister named Miss Cleo? Y’all remember Miss Cleo, right? We surely do. There she was, constantly showing up on our television, flapping her jaws, working her turban and working our last nerve with that fake accent trying to get people to ring up some organization called the Psychic Readers Network and cough up a credit card number so Miss Cleo or some other “psychic associate” sitting in some God forsaken office park could run your cards or read your beads or whatever nonsensical service Miss Cleo was purporting to sell.
It just makes Your Mama utterly dee-pressed to think that we live in a world where anyone would think it was ever a wise idea to call up some psychic hotline they saw advertised on the damn boob tube. What in the world is wrong with people? Honestly. If you ask Your Mama, and of course no one did, those lame brain callers deserved to get ripped off for being stoopid enough to pick up their damn telephones and call Miss Cleo like she had all the answers to their existential questions, crises and woes. Please! Have some sense people!
Anyhoo, Is it any surprise to the children that round-about 2002 Steven Feder, the man responsible for setting up and operating the Psychic Readers Network, was investigated by the FCC who outed Miss Cleo as some lezbeeun ladee from California named Youree Harris and forced Mister Feder shut down his ridiculous but obscenely profitable scheme? No, it shouldn’t be.
What may be surprising, however, is how much money remains in Mister Feder and his man-friend Lou Thomas Trosclairs’s Gucci wallets from the now defunct and fraudulent enterprise. According to real estate gossip boy wonder Max Abelson at the NY Observer, in January of 2008 Misters Feder and Trosclair dumped a fat $24,480,000 to purchase a 4,454 square foot, 75th floor combined unit condominium in the South Tower at the Time Warner Center, which looms over Columbus Circle at 59th Street and and 8th Avenue in New York City.
But children, this is not the first time the two mega money queens from Florida have been to the real estate fair at the Time Warner Center. Oh no. Property records reveal that back in September of 2006, the couple picked up Puerto Rican pop star Ricky Martin’s 3,050 square foot unit on the 65th floor of the South Tower for $9,750,000. Mister Abelson also reports that the two gentelmen have since sold the 4 bedroom and 4.5 bathroom condo (pictured above) to a neighbor for $15,850,000, a staggering $6,100,000 profit in just over one year of ownership.
As Mister Abelson noted in his report, the two gentleman spent lavishly on artwork including several pieces that should be quite recognizable to all the arty farty folks. Big name artwork aside, we think the place looks like a caricature of what a sexy New York City apartment owned by two out of town gays is supposed to look like. Blech!
Today Your Mama will spare the children too many more of our notions about the interiors and floor plan issues, but the one bête noire we can’t seem to get past and simply must piss and moan about is that windowless kitchen with the stacked washer and dryer shoved into a closet that should be a pantry. Now children, Your Mama has certainly been around the New York City real estate block enough times to know that windowless kitchens are far from rare, particularly in all these new “luxury” high rises. However for this this amount of money, we want at least a small window to air the place out from the stink of last nights Chinese take out that sat on the counter while we watched the new season of Big Brother. (Iffin any of you children care, that awful and exploitative American Idol is out and the tawdry Big Brother is in).
Before we sign off to take a big fat nerve pill, let’s touch on that stacked washer and dryer in the kitchen. Yes, of course we know that the super rich residents of this building are unlikely to be doing their own laundry, but Your Mama thinks it’s a cruel and inhuman punishment to make Marta the maid fold your nasty skidmarked underwear on the stove, even if it is a baby Viking. We’re sorry, but for $15,850,000 that is inexcusable. Was there really no better location for the washer and dryer?
Now we got to go and get our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly outside before they start piddling on the good rugs.
Seeing the Future–or Just Dollar Signs (Court TV)