BUYER: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
LOCATION: French Quarter, New Orleans, LA
PRICE: $3,750,000 (list)
SIZE: 7,435 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 4.5 baths in the main house
PROPERTY DESCRIPTION: Exquisite historic early 1830s masonry mansion in prime French Quarter location. Magnificent renovation with beautifully appointed interiors. Gorgeous chandeliers, crown moldings, fireplaces, high ceilings, custom cabinetry, architectural details, grand spiral staircase, elevator, chef’s gourmet kitchen with top of the line appliances, private large courtyard and separate two-story guest house, private parking for two cars.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES:We have been getting heaps of emails asking Your Mama if we know anything about Brad and Angelina’s new home in New Orleans. After putting some twos and twos together and receiving a little information from our New Orleans know-it-all Sassy Rack, Your Mama thinks we’ve hit pay dirt. Simmer down children, because we have not yet received confirmation from the listing agent, but we are quite sure this is the house the Jolie-Pitts and their growing collection of multi–culti kiddies now call home in the French Quarter of flood ravaged New Orleans.
This peripatetic pair recently confirmed to US Weekly they have indeed packed up, picked up and high-tailed it out of Malibu and will be living and raising the youngins in Nawlins. Your Mama loves that this couple is globally inclined. And it’s terribly chic the way they live in Paris one minute and someplace in Africa the next; Malibu on Monday, New Orleans on Wednesday. But what Your Mama really wants to know is if these two are really planning on sending their kiddies to the public schools in New Orleans? Somehow we think not. Let’s be honest, they work this “we are of the people” thing, but we doubt they are that much of the people. Besides it would just be so ugly and tacky to send all those babies to school with their own bodyguards.
Anyhoo, New Orleans is chock full of spectacular and ornate mansions. But Your Mama thinks this one is particularly well suited to these neo-bohemians. The 1830s house was built in an opulent Parisian style and the property contains front and back houses separated by a lush courtyard–a perfect place for the Jolie-Pitt babies to play in private hidden from the prying eyes of the paparazzi and public. The main house stacks up three stories in over 7,000 square feet. This structure includes lavish entertaining rooms, five fireplaces, an elevator, a gorgeous staircase, and a kitchen fit for caterers and hired chefs. Upstairs, the master faces the courtyard and includes a marble bathroom.
The back house is a totally self-contained unit. Which of course is perfect for housing all the staff, nannies, and various assistants these superstars employ. In addition to multiple bedrooms the back house includes its own entrance, kitchen and living areas.
Your Mama is not going to comment much on the furnishings as they belong to the previous owner. This decor is not to Your Mama’s taste, but clearly the owners’ gay decorator is cultured and educated in the ways of dee–luxe decorating for those living high on the hog.
Now babies, we know the address of this house and all the good stuff, but in the interest of protecting the safety and privacy of this way too public family, we’re keeping the information in our vaults. Y’all know how Your Mama feels about the children standing out front of famous peoples’ homes. These people have enough trouble without having to deal with that sort of stupid shit. So stay home, enjoy the photos and leave these folks alone for once.