On Saturday, the 20th of January, The Sun, one of Britain’s most aggressive and intense tabloids, featured photos of Brad and Angelina’s new house in New Orleans. And yes children, it is the same house Your Mama told you they bought last week, on the 17th, thank you.
But Your Mama is not here to gloat about breaking stories. No sirree Bob. What we want to discuss is all these damn pear paintings that keep popping up in pictures of rich people’s houses. That’s right babies, one of the photos in The Sun’s article shows a giant pear painting hanging over a fireplace in one of the rooms.
Do you recall that pear abortion in Cher’s flip nightmare in Palm Springs? Well if you do, you know Your Mama was not happy about it. If not, you can read about it here.
Anyhoo, we were alerted to this pear by our San Francisco based anglophile friend Fiona Trambeau. And Lahwd children, Your Mama just about came unglued when we saw this decorating tragedy. We were so disturbed we had to go take us a nerve pill. Please.
Who are all these gay decorators who are telling their clients to be hanging paintings of giant pears up in their houses? WHO? WHO ARE THEY? Because Your Mama would like to sit them down and give them a severe tongue lashing. Then we’d like to take them up to the roof and beat their asses until they haven’t got enough sense to know what a pear is.
We have had enough of the pears. Do you hear Your Mama? ENOUGH. And we don’t want to be seeing any other fruit up on the walls either. All you gay decorators out there need to have some mercy on our souls and not be putting that kind of shit up on the walls. Honestly! If you need the name of some good galleries, you just let Your Mama know and we’ll get you some phone numbers and addresses. Now then, stop it with the pears.
What do the children think. Is it just Your Mama who finds this fruit fetish offensive?