SELLER: Janice Min
LOCATION: the Porter House, Meatpacking District, NYC
PRICE: $3,150,000 (sale price)
SIZE: 2,271 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: The loft features a perfect family layout, with 3 winged bedrooms (2 with en suite bathrooms), three exposures and 16 windows, blazing sunlight, beautiful views and a Val Cucine chef’s kitchen. Jatoba wood floors throughout the loft and all rooms have large closest customized by California Closets. Everything in XXX mint condition.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama discussed this apartment back in December, but we didn’t post all the photos or floor plan as we should have so all the hungry children could get their proper fill. Therefore we’ve decided to bring you this gossip queen’s former apartment once again.
Ms. Min, editor in chief of the venerable gossip rag US Weekly, has long ago packed up the family and moved into a much larger and more expensive loft in tourist infested SoHo. This apartment is currently owned by bigwig commercial real estate broker Robert Futterman.
The Porter House, the building where this apartment is located, was one of the first high-end residential developments in the Meatpacking District. The area is currently filled to the rim with high end retailers (i.e. Stella McCartney, DDC Lab, Calypso) and a number of way too chic hostelries such as Hotel Gansevoort and members only SoHo House. But, for all the children out there not familiar with New York City, the Meatpacking District used to be just that…a place where burly men sliced up animal carcasses and packed the meat in boxes. Not so many years ago the streets here literally ran with blood and the stench of rotting meat singed your nose hairs.
The district is still thriving and filled with fancy shops for the ridiculously rich and fashion forward, but it’s no longer the “it” neighborhood to live in Manhattan. In fact, Manhattan itself is not longer a particularly desirable place to live for trendsetters , but hunny that’s another story.
Back to the apartment gossip bought. We are digging the Val Cucine kitchen and can imagine it’s a nice place to cook up some toast and unpack all the delivered meals. As we’ve mentioned before, we’re not always fond of “loft style” layouts, but this one works for Your Mama as you can safely watch television in the living area and not have the dirty dishes be staring you down making you feel like you’re keeping a filthy house.
As much as we are liking the Italian kitchen and those mouth watering floors, Your Mama is sorry to say we’re not down with Ms. Min’s choices in furniture and accessories. Okay, the Jonathan Adler pillows are fine and the Aeron chair is good for the ergonomics, but somehow it’s just not all working together. We’re also thinking that if you take all those plants out of the bathroom, it will seem a little too ordinary. Even the stainless sinks are not working for us.
Ms. Min, you have a very good job. And with all due respect, we hope over at your new place you’ve gone and hired yourself a nice gay decorator to help you pull it all together.