BUYER: Eric Christian Olsen
LOCATION: Pacific Palisades, CA
SIZE: 1,593 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A couple of weeks ago we received a missive from The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial who snitched to Your Mama that a shaggy-haired surfer-style blond named Eric Christian Olsen paid $1,350,000 to procure a modest if not exactly cheap ranch-style residence situated high on an ocean view bluff in the scenic Castellammare neighborhood on the real estate border between Pacific Palisades and Malibu, CA.
The children may wish to note that the property was actually listed at $1,300,000, which means that Mister Olsen paid fifty grand over the asking price. Make of that what y’all will.
Since we’re being honest, we freely admit we’d never heard of this Mister Olsen before a short, sweet and entirely unscientific spin through the internets informed Your Mama the tall, handsome, well-built and often scruffy-faced actor has been catting around Tinseltown since the late 1990s. His big showbiz break came, believe it or now, when he landed a bit part as a dying burn victim on the now canceled hospital (melo)drama ER. A meaty role in the movie Pearl Harbor followed as did a slew of low-brow (and not very funny) terlit-humor comedies such as Not Another Teen Movie, The Hot Chick, Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, Fired Up, Beerfest and License to Wed. Now in his early 30s, Mister Olsen has also landed a fair number of recurring roles on various television series such as Brothers & Sisters, Community, Tru Calling and, most recently, NCIS: Los Angeles.
The beau-hunky and smooth-chested surfer has long squired but not married the equally tussled blond model and actress Sarah Wright. Your Mama has no idea–nor do we really care–if the prototypical California blonds, neither of which are actually from California, plan to occupy the premises in unmarried sin, tie the knot and set up a newlywed nest or if they’ll maintain separate residences.
Whatever the case, Mister Olsen’s new near-the-seaside crib, which listing information rather generously called a “majestic cottage,” was built in 1950 and contains 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms in 1,593 square feet of interior space. Espresso-colored hardwood floors and salt-licked taupe and blue walls run throughout the house including in the bi-level living/dining room. The living room area, anchored by a white brick fireplace at one end of the room, has a beamed and vaulted ceiling and a long row of floor-to-ceiling plate-glass windows that extend down to the sunken dining area.
The kitchen, just beyond the dining area, has a pitched and beamed ceiling with clerestory windows, another wide row of wood-framed sash windows over the sink, old school country-style white cabinetry and white tile counter tops, new-fangled stainless steel fridge and dishwasher and a charming–or “charming,” depending on your culinary point of view–vintage range. A short peninsula allows for some in-kitchen snacking and a door, which we’d replace with a Dutch door just because we love a Dutch door in a ranch-style residence, opens to the rear terrace.
The two secondary bedrooms are fairly ordinary affairs but the much larger master offers a bit more space and interest with a beamed and vaulted ceiling, room for a sizable sitting area and large windows with through-the-trees view of the canyons and ocean.
The living/dining and kitchen areas open to an small-ish and much in need of some love tree-shaded terrace with obstructed and oblique but still quite lovely canyon, mountain, city lights and ocean views. With a smart architect to dress up the rather dumpy exterior, a nice gay decorator to high light the home’s highlights, and a savvy landscape designer to do over the could-be-great (if compact) backyard, Your Mama thinks–nay, know–this otherwise fairly ordinary ranch could be transformed into something that might appear in the matte pages of Dwell magazine. We suspect some of the children will disagree.
listing photos: Keller Williams Santa Monica