BUYER: Kim Zolciak
LOCATION: Roswell, GA
PRICE: $3,250,000 (list)
SIZE: 11,066 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 6 full and 4 half bathrooms
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: During the filming of the most recent season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta bewigged bombshell Kim Zolciak went to some charity event in the ATL and watched sister housewife Sheree Whitfield do a sad little ballroom jig wearing a turly heinous beaded ice-skater costume that y’all can watch here if you missed it and/or you done got a nerve pill down in you. If that outfit is some She by Sheree then, ooo-wee hunnies, she’s going to be in some deep doo–doo when she tries to sell her line–if she ever actually develops a line–to high end retailers like Saks and Neimans who, were pretty sure, have a clientele who don’t want to attend their next cocktail party looking like Tai Babilonia or Johnny damn Weir.
Anyhoodles poodles, one of the other dancers at the charity even was professional pigskinner Kroy Biermann who does whatever he does for the Atlanta Falcons football team. When the dancing was through the always demure Miz Zolciak met up with a prodigiously booty-fied Mister Biermann and she told him that she “had never seen an ass like that” and then she asked him to turn around in his tight pants so she could get a good look. He obliged, slipped her his digits and six short months later boom-boom-badda–bing Kimmie’s got a Biermann bun up in her oven. It wasn’t long after that bit of baby bizness got out that Miz Zolciak and Mister Biermann went ahead and got engaged. If we cared enough to look on the internets we could probably sort out when they plan on hitch their wagons and when she’s due to push out the baby.
In late November 2010, about the same time she traded Big Poppa’s egg-sized diamond ring for whatever ring Mister Biermann gave her, the with child Miz Zolciak put her Duluth, GA bachelorette-pad townhouse on the market with an asking price of $499,000. This was not Miz Zolciak’s first time at this particular real estate fair; In the summer of 2009 she unsuccessfully attempted to sell her three-story and 3,396 square foot townhouse condominium with the rather cumbersome asking price of $568,700. Although Redfin shows that the property was taken off the market, as of today listing information for the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom townhouse still appears on the listing agent’s website with an asking price of $499,000.
It only made sense and it was only a matter of time before Miz Zolciak, a gal who has adopted a celebrity lifestyle as if to the manor born, was going to find her self in need of or desire for a bigger and better house where she she can live in wedded bliss with Mister Biermann, their baby and her two daughters from a previous marriage. Et, voilà!
As was first revealed on the blog Pay Attenton To…, Miz Zolciak’s oldest daughter Brielle let her mother and soon to be step-daddy’s real estate cat out of the bag yesterday when she posted a link on her Formspring thing for a property listin on Zillow for a large residence about 30 miles north of Atlanta in the upscale city of Roswell that she described as her “newwww house.”
Online listing information still shows that property in question as “active,” meaning it’s not in contract or escrow or whatever it is they do in Georgia when a person puts some money down for the privilege of doing their due diligence on the property. So, for now kiddos, this is just rumor and gossip even though this particular tidbit floated into the etherwebs directly from Little Miss Brielle.
Listing information shows the stately 2-acre estate, on the market for nearly 2.5 years, carries a current listing price of $3,250,000. The 11,066 square foot brick residence, according to listing information, has 7 bedrooms, 6 full and 4 half bathrooms–Sweetie’s going to be awfully busy with all ten of them terlits–3 full kitchens, 2 laundry rooms, 1 media room that seats 30 people and a four-car garage plus parking for at least half a dozen more.
A screened porch and terrace at the back of the house step down to a swimming pool, raised circular spa, a large lawn ringed with a few little islands of shrubbery here and there and what looks to be a regulation-sized outdoor basketball court.
Now then, in honor of the happy couple and their (alleged) new family homestead, we’re going to do it Zolciak-style and pop open and nurse on a bottle of mid-priced Chardonnay in the middle of the damn day. We suggest you do the same.
listing photos: Elite Real Estate Properties