According to a report on gossip juggernaut TMZ, big bootied Beyoncé and her music mogul mate Jay-Z have purchased a 15,000 square foot mansion in Scarsdale, NY.
Scarsdale? For reals? Your Mama knows lots of rich and famous folks like Liza Minelli, Yoko Ono and soap sensation Susan Lucci once lived in and/or grew up in Scarsdale…but Beyoncé and Jay-Z?
Listen kids, Your Mama knows nuthin‘ about this unexpected real estate hoo-ha, property records do not yet reveal a sale of the Heathcote Road property, and if we’re being honest, we simply don’t care that much anyway. We may be lambasted, baked and fried like a tomato for saying this, but Your Mama finds Miss Bee-yon-say and her behemoth backside to be about as interesting as dirt. And don’t even get Your Mama started on that ka–razy House of Deréon childrens clothing line that has little gurls tarted up like high-heeled sluts. Pleeze. What moe–ron came up with that sartorial nonsense?
Anyhoo, iffin one of you Westchester Wandas wanna get in touch with Your Mama and give us the low down on this house we’d be happy to pass it along. In the meantime, don’t none of you pee-pole imagine for hot minute that Your Mama is going to chase down any 411 on this deal. We got better things to do, like clip our damn toenails.