OWNER: Britney Spears
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, (The Summit)
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Okay babies, Your Mama is plum tired of hearing about this girl, reading about this girl, and writing about this girl and her new damn house. But Your Mama knows all the children need to be fed so here you go.
We over here at the Real Estalker have finally caught up with technology a little bit and can now bring you better overhead photos. So we went and got a photo of this girl’s new house up in Beverly Hills.
Now, the more Your Mama thinks about this purchase by Miss Spears, the more we think this residence is only temporary and that she’ll be moving out shortly after her place in Malibu sells. Let Your Mama tell you why.
1. She just wants to be closer to the nightlife scene. While it is true Britney had been house-hunting the previous weeks, it appears to Your Mama all she was really looking for on the day she looked at this house was a dressing room closer to the bars and clubs. See, this girl went to look at this property very late in the day and brought five or ten of her partying posse along with her. (We know celebrities often travel in a pack, but this was a little out of the ordinary.) Then, after having a cursory look-see around, Britney proceeded to use one of the upstairs bedrooms to get herself ready for a night on the town. Who does this? I’m sorry girl, but this is just plain rude. Nobody needs you up in their house spraying your hair, staining their vanity with the bronzer, and leaving your dirty things on the floor. Didn’t Your Mama teach you any manners? Lawhd.
2. It was an impulse buy. Miss Britney purchased this house on the spot, bought most of the furniture along with it, and asked the owners to be moved out in a matter of days. (Your Mama thinks she remembers hearing they moved to the Beverly Hills Hotel or maybe the Bel Air Hotel.) Anyhoo, Miss Britney was clearly looking for a quick fix. Maybe to get out of Mali-boo and away from the white rapper. Maybe because she didn’t feel like dealing with furniture shopping or a gay decorator. Or maybe, Your Mama speculates, Britney was kicked out of her beachfront Malibu Colony rental by it’s owner, that shabby chic gal Rachel Ashwell, and needed someplace to go quick?
3. There is not enough privacy. If you children were to be knowing the landscape where this house sits, you would understand when I say that despite the gatehouse at the bottom of the hill, there’s not enough privacy and security with this property…The back of the house does not look down into a canyon, but rather up the side of an undeveloped hill (well, there is one house at the top). You know the crazed and fantatical are going to be hiking up on that hill soon enough trying too look into this girl’s windows. Add to that all the houses being pressed up against each other and you know she will need to go find herself someplace with more privacy.
Phew. Are we done talking about this girl now? Thank goodness, because Your Mama needs to go take a nerve pill now.