SELLER: Adam Carolla
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 2,281 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2.75 bathrooms
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: He may have rather stoopidly and controversially called Hawaiians “retarded” and “the world’s dumbest people,” but, children, comedian, ack-tor, and radio personality Adam Carolla is all kinds of rich anyways. Beehawtcha may have pissed off an entire state–not to mention an entire country–but he is none the less laugh, laugh, laughing all the way to the damn bank.
Back in 1996, not long after pairing up with publicity seeking celebrity rehabber Dr. Drew Pinsky on the long running Lovelines radio program, Mister Carolla took some of his earnings and purchased himself a starter located house high above Beachwood Canyon in Los Angeles, CA. While Mister Carolla and his family have long since moved on to bigger and better digs, the Beachwood Canyon crib remained the property in his portfolio. However, the talk radio titan* has, apparently, decided to lighten his real estate load because he recently put the property on the market with an asking price of $1,395,000.
*Okay, maybe Mister Carolla isn’t really a “titan” of talk radio in like that poser Howard Stern who caters to the lowest of lowbrow taste but hobnobs with the hoity toity in the Hamptons, but he’s still enormously successful.
Mister Carolla, a bizzy entertainment business beaver if there ever was one, got his big radio break on Jimmy Kimmel’s erstwhile radio program Kevin and Bean. He went on to yakkety yak for 10 years on the radio with Dr. Pinsky, co-hosted a popular sketch comedy program called The Man Show with his new b.f.f. Jimmy Kimmel, and created and performed on the tee-vee program Crank Yankers on which scary looking puppets made crank calls to unsuspecting victims. In 2005, after leaving Lovelines, he started up his own eponymous radio program. In 2009 the show was converted to a wildly successful 5-day a week podcast that quickly became the most downloaded podcast on the iTunes. He’s also done voice over work (Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, Family Guy) and in 2008 he appeared on that way past its prime program Dancing With the Stars on which he mamboed and tangoed but was ultimately done in by the Paso Doble.
Property records show that Mister Carolla bought his Beachwood Canyon aerie in November of 1996 for $350,000. Lo-ward have mercy buttons, remember when y’all could buy a nice if modest house in a good part of Los Angeles for well under half a million smackers? Anyhoo, property records show the fully renovated French Normandy style residence was built in 1924 and listing information indicates it is an original Hollywoodland home.
Hollywoodland, for those not schooled on the history of the Los Angeles real estate world, is the architecturally diverse subdivision situated in the peaks and valleys in the rugged and scrubby hills above Hollywood. The now iconic Hollywood sign, which originally read “Hollywoodland” and was covered in flashing light bulbs, was erected in the 1920s as an advertisement to attract arty-farty and urbane home buyers to the development. While not nearly as posh or as expensive as Beverly Hills or Bel Air, Beachwood Canyon remains one of Los Angeles’ most Los Angeles of neighborhoods, iffin that makes any sense.
Mister Carolla’s crib, according to listing information, measures 2,281 square feet and contains 3 bedrooms and 3 poopers. The house sits atop a towering stone rampart and is accessed via a stone staircase that wraps around the rampart and leads up to a gated and hedged yard. Even more stair climbing is required to haul yer hiney up to the front door.
While it would most certainly be lovely to live on a private promontory high above the street, our imperious house gurl Svetlana would never permit Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter to live in a situation that would force her to perspire just from dragging the damn groceries up from the street to the kitchen. If there was some sort of dumbwaiter or funicular to carry the comestibles up to the house from the street she might relent. But even then probably not since she’s still have to get her not interested in exercising at all for any reason self up the stairs.
Anyhoo, the interior spaces of Mister Carolla’s former home include a step-down living room with a high-beamed ceiling, hardwood floors, fireplace, wet bar, and a tall arched window with views of the glittering lights of Tinseltown. There is also a den/family room with a second fireplace and built in entertainment center, and an eat-in kitchen all done over with a built in boo-fay and plate rack, white raised panel cabinetry, and high grade stainless steel appliances including a 4-burner baby Viking range. The master bedroom, according to listing information, has a third fireplace and, we presume, a private pooper.
Listing information indicates that the entire house was renovated and retrofitted in 1997 with a new HVAC system, foundation bolting, slate roof, electrical and plumbing upgrades and a beefed up security system.
The yard wraps around the house and offers a few small but flat lawn areas, a flagstone terrace with built in barbecue pit–or whatever that brick thing is–and an awning shaded patio that leads to a small deck with city views where the former traffic school instructor and staunch atheist sunk a hot tub and probably spent many-a-evening staring at the starry heavens. The children will note the gigantic flag pole prominently installed in the front yard. Although he may not believe in capital “G” god like most Americans still do, Mister Carolla is still a patriotic person. This is, after all, America, land of the free, and one need not believe in Jesus to be a good American.
Mister Carolla currently lives in a walled and gated property high atop the Hollywood Hills that he purchased in April of 2003 for $1,630,000. The Spanish style house measures 5,345 square foot house with 3 bedrooms and 6 poopers. Your Mama happens to know that, like at his former home in Beachwood Canyon, Mister Carolla flies the American–and the I-talian–flag at his current crib.
In March of 2007, according to property records, Mister and Missus Carolla paid $3,600,000 to purchase a contemporary ranch house in the Point Dume area of Malibu. As it turns out, the Carolla couple’s beach house in the Bu, which has 4 bedroom and 3 poopers in the main house and another bedroom and pooper in the detached guest house, is currently for lease for July and/or August at $10,000 per month.
photos from Teles Properties listing