Poor Steven A. Cohen. The near-mythic Wall Street tycoon — on whom the Showtime series Billions was loosely based — has lost many a tear over his palatial penthouse in Midtown Manhattan. What’s the problem, you ask? He just can’t get the damn thing sold, that’s what.
The saga begins nearly six years ago, back in April 2013. It was then that Mr. Cohen first hoisted his mansion-in-the-sky (at 9,000-square-feet, it’s actually bigger than most suburban McMansions) onto the market with a scathing $115 million pricetag. The duplex unit, which spans the entire 51st and 52nd floors of the One Beacon Court skyscraper, was fully renovated and customized for Mr. Cohen by the late, great architect Charles Gwathmey.
Back in 2013, the NY trophy apartment was sizzlin’ hot. Penthouses were going like hotcakes, price records being broken all over the city. But unfortunately for our boy Mr. Cohen, his modernist abode languished — unloved, untouched and decidedly unsold.
For y’all who may not know, Mr. Cohen is one of the top 5 richest hedge fund managers in all the world, according to Forbes. In fact, in 2013 alone Mr. Cohen raked in 2.3 billion bucks. That means he earned $6.3 million dollars per day — and nearly $263,000 an hour — for one full year! Feeling poor yet?
Anyway, our point is that a $115 million apartment, pricey as it is, probably shouldn’t be more dear to Mr. Cohen than a regular person’s favorite sweatshirt. But not so! Mr. Cohen apparently cares a lot about his apartment — so much so that he was reportedly “furious“ and “freaking out” about the lack of a buyer. A snitchy snitch snitched to the New York Post that Mr. Cohen blamed his real estate agent — a high-profile lady who does a ton of business out in NYC — for failing to sell the property.
And so began the steep descent. In 2014, the pricetag tumbled to $98 million. Still no buyer. More slippage to $82 million. Nope. Any luck at $79 million? Nada. Press reports alleged the place might be “jinxed”.
During the past six years, Mr. Cohen has changed brokers numerous times. And last month, with his proverbial tail between his legs, he hired a new team of agents to relist the spread with a rather shocking $45 million ask. Yes kids, that’s $70 million less than what he wanted six years ago. Ouch!
The current pricetag also represents barely any profit for the spendy Mr. Cohen, who paid $24 million for the property way back in 2005 and allegedly spent another $18 million (or so) on his custom renovations, for a total outlay of $42 million.
Like most Gwathmey-designed homes, the interiors of this place will likely be an acquired taste to most folks. While definitely austere and not quite homey, the place is blessed with floor-to-ceiling windows and panoramic city views. The entrance foyer leads directly into a 45-foot-long combo dining/living room that will surely blow the proverbial bloomers off the new owner’s guests.
There are a total of 6 bedrooms and 6.5 baths in the apartment, including two staff rooms with private baths. The expansive master suite includes an office (with a wall of windows overlooking the living room below), a sitting room, a mega-sized bedroom, dual walk-in closets/dressing rooms and a dual bathrooms, both done up with huge slabs of marble.
According to current listing materials, the current monthly common charges and taxes total more than $35,000, or $420,000+ per year. That’s a lot of Benjamins, of course, but no more than couch change for a man of Mr. Cohen’s means.
Perhaps the biggest demerit for Mr. Cohen’s sleek spread is that there’s no outdoor space. Zero. And for $45 million, Yolanda would like a wraparound terrace, please.
But then again, how often would you actually use outdoor space at an NYC penthouse 52 stories high, way up there amid the fierce winds and nippin’ frost? Brrrr.
For the past two decades, Mr. Cohen’s primarily residence has been his colossal estate in Greenwich (CT). Old reports say he paid $14.8 million in cash for the property and spent untold millions more to expand the structure. The lavish complex now sports 32,000-square-feet of living space, golf greens, formal gardens, a tennis court and a full-size ice rink. Oh, and somewhere in the Greenwich manse is a $12 million tiger shark encased in formaldehyde, courtesy of Damien Hirst.
Some of Mr. Cohen’s other properties include (but are not limited to):
- A $23 million apartment in Manhattan’s West Village
- Two side-by-side townhouses, also in West Village, bought for $39 million
- An $18 million “cottage” in the Hamptons
- A 14,000-square-foot mansion in Delray Beach, Florida — in the swanky Stone Creek Ranch development
And in 2013, Mr. Cohen paid $62.5 million for his second compound in the Hamptons — also (like his first) located on East Hampton’s tony Further Lane. (Mr. Cohen reportedly outbid David Geffen for the 6.5-acre estate.) The property happens to sit right next door to an even larger $147 million spread that — until just recently — held the record for most expensive home ever sold in the USA.
The following year (2014), real estate rumors hissed that Mr. Cohen was interested in flipping his giant new Hamptons property because — according to an anonymous attorney familiar with the transaction — East Hampton is just “too Jewish” for Mr. Cohen’s liking.
Keep in mind, y’all, that Mr. Cohen himself — if you couldn’t already tell by his last name — is definitely Jewish. And for the record, his representatives vehemently denied the anonymous attorney’s comments, calling them “false and despicable“. Oh my!
Whatever the case, our Mr. Cohen continues to own the Hamptons complex. And he will continue to encounter large Jewish populations just about anywhere he goes. Including in Beverly Hills, where the residents are 90% Jewish — or so it seems.
And yes, speaking of Beverly Hills, Mr. Cohen does indeed have a seriously swank property out yonder. A few years ago, he paid one of his friends — mega-mansion developer Gala Asher — a fierce $34,500,000 for a spec-crib that’s just a short walk to the legendary Beverly Hills Hotel.
At the time he sealed the deal, back in early 2015, Yolanda heard through the grapevine that Mr. Cohen purchased the Beverly Hills beast because his kids attend USC — and he was sick and tired of staying at five-star hotels while visiting them.
No, seriously. That’s really what we were told. (Must be nice!)