After chatting about Camille Grammer, we decided to continue on with our ex-Real Housewives stars today because, well, why not. Lea Black, as you may (or may not) know, was the unofficial matriarch on the short-lived Miami franchise. We never watched that particular trainwreck — thank goodness — but we hope Mrs. Black got a few slaps and more than a few f-bombs in for fond remembrance’s sake. Ahh, sweet memories.
Although they have long primarily resided in Miami, Mrs. Black and her prominent attorney husband Roy — who has represented high-profile clients such as Justin Bieber, Kelsey Grammer, and Joe Francis — have owned a contemporary vacation home just above LA’s iconic Sunset Strip since 2004, when they purchased the 2,582-square-foot hillside house for $1,760,000.
FYI for those interested, Mrs. Black — a former waitress from Dallas or something — met the Miami-based (and very rich) Mr. Black during the trial of William Kennedy Smith. Mr. Black was the defense attorney, Mrs. Black was on the jury duty. Now they’re married and preside over a fortune estimated at $100 million or something like that. No more waitressing for Mrs. Black.
See, kids? Sometimes it really does pay to follow the law. Obey that damn jury summons. And don’t forget to preen.
Anyway, maybe the Blacks are planning on spending more time way out west or maybe they just wanted a bigger and better crash pad because they’re really rich. We’re not sure. But either way, the couple have splurged the big bucks on a very done-done-done new crib that’s only about a half-mile from their current house (as the crow flies).
The brand-new spec-mansion sits on a .32-acre double lot with “explosive jetliner views” of the city lights.
A gated front drive off a quiet (and extremely narrow) cul-de-sac leads to the front of the modern crib. Inside, there’s roughly 1.65 billion fluorescent or LED recessed lights and French white oak flooring underfoot. A marble-surround fireplace warms the otherwise stark dining room/family room combo. Floor-to-ceiling glass walls give a vertigo-inducing view of them ol’ peasants far below.
The interior sports fancy-schmancy Lutron & Nest systems, along with tons of other tech gizmo-try.
There’s a sleek uber-modern kitchen with an Italian marble-covered island and some rather awkwardly-places but top-flight appliances.
The master suite is smaller than one might normally expect in a brand-new $6 million spec-house, but it’s lavishly equipped with marble and diamond-encrusted glass and wood from Marie Antoinette’s personal rainforest. Probably.
In addition to the master, there are three guest/family bedrooms and bathrooms.
The lot is extremely steep (much appears unusuable). We gotta say, the developers appear to have done a good job squeezing a 4,200-square-foot house on there. Let’s just hope for the Blacks’ sake that it stays there once the Big One finally decides to hit.
The listing says the outdoor patio sports full audio & lighting, a “Porsche design barbecue”, a firepit, and a “designer” rose garden. Can you imagine the indignity of poor Mrs. Black having to make do with an ordinary Hyundai-design barbecue and non-designer rose garden? Heavens no!
Yolanda assumes without any direct knowledge that Mr. & Mrs. Black will soon unload their old Sunset Strip house, which is located on dangerously twisty (and partially semi-permanently closed) Sunset Plaza Drive.
In addition to their two LA properties, the Blacks maintain not one but two lavish residences in Florida. Their primary home is located in Coral Gables and features 6 bedrooms and just 4 bathrooms in 8,176-square-feet of historic (built in 1924) living space.
The couple also lay claim to an investment property on Miami’s celeb-studded Star Island, where some of their neighbors include Gloria Estefan, Sean “Puff Daddy Duddle” Combs, and Mrs. Black’s former Real Housewives co–star Lisa Hochstein and her hubby, “boob god” Leonard Hochstein.
Mr. & Mrs. Black bought their Star Island estate back in 2007 for $7,107,500 and are currently having a real devil of a time unloading the beotch. They first attempted to unload it back in October 2015 for $17,990,000. The ask was eventually cut in April (2016) to $16,996,000. But still — no takers as of yet.
The 1981 house is of indeterminate architectural heritage and has 10 bedrooms and 10.5 bathrooms in 10,598-square-feet of possible teardown space. Seriously, the current listing features not a single interior photo, which means the ol’ gurl’s chances of survival are probably slim to none. And based on the outdoor pics, we’d call the estate a very large and expensive but rather fugly dump, if we’re being honest.
Was that rude? Sorry — Yolanda didn’t get her daily glass(es) of wine in yet today. We’re a bit grouchy!
Selling agents: Jason Oppenheim, The Oppenheim Group; Paul Lester, The Agency