K

Kris & Kylie Jenner show off their designer-done digs

Since it’s the weekend, the cat’s away and the mice (Yolanda) want to play. So how about something a wee bit offbeat? Don’t fret, our regularly scheduled programming will return shortly.

We know many of our snootier readers dislike the Kardashians and deride them as being famous (and famously rich) for absolutely nothing. “No talent!!!” they scream. But Yolanda finds these people oddly fascinating. Just how have they captivated the world for so many years? Folks have been predicting the demise of their “15 minutes” for well over a decade, yet here they are — still hogging space on every website from Time Magazine to TMZ. Come on — that alone is a talent! This family is here to stay.

At this point, the Kardashians are wealthier than 90% of “A-list” celebrities, and their famously brash spending — seems like they can never buy enough mansions, exotic cars and rapper/baller baby daddies — has recently kicked into ultra-high gear. The family now presides over a real estate empire worth well in excess of $100 million, according to Yolanda’s research.

Two of the clan’s biggest spenders — Kris Jenner and her 21-year-old near-billionaire daughter Kylie Jenner — have both purchased new homes out in Hidden Hills, deep in the belly of the San Fernando Valley, and the fine folks at Architecural Digest recently got a firsthand tour of the designer-redone digs.

So while Yolanda knows certain folks would rather push a camel through a needle’s eye than read about this family, Yolanda is gonna write about them. Let’s begin with Little Miss Kylie Jenner, shall we?

Back in fall 2016, a then-19-year-old Miss Jenner paid $12,050,000 for a new monster mansion.

We wrote about the 13,200-square-foot beast when she bought it and described the spec-built home as “very fancy but slightly banal” in style. “Couldn’t Miss Jenner go for something a bit sexier?” Yolanda wrote. And it’s true. The neutral interiors, while luxurious and wholly inoffensive, verged on the matronly.

Back in the day (2016)

But that was then, and the house looks dramatically different now. To sex up the Cape Cod-style abode, Miss Jenner engaged the services of theatrical interior designer Martyn Lawrence Bullard and spent many months workin’ on a hideously expensive total redo of the place.

Well, the now-21-year-old lip kit queen’s castle is finally done, and it’s insane. The enormous structure is chock-full of name brand art and custom furniture — Yolanda can pretty much guarantee that Miss Jenner spent well into the seven figures on this job. Check out the full story on Architectural Digest .

Yowza! Even if this ain’t your style — and it certainly is not Yolanda’s style — it’s sure fun to look at. The place looks “perfect for Instagram,” as one of our friends told us. And really, ain’t that the whole point?

At least one of the home’s eight bedrooms was converted into a “glam room” and a purse closet to house Miss Jenner’s million-dollar handbag collection. And the art used as decor! Oh my. It’s all great stuff — Beau Dunn‘s condom art, Andy Warhol, Damien Hirst, Basquiat (but does Kylie Jenner even know who Basquiat is? Apparently she does!)

The million-dollar purse closet

We can pretty much guarantee you will never, ever see another 21-year-old with a home this ludicrous. But before we digress any further, let’s check out her mama’s new pad, which is similarly expensive but done up in a much different, more demure manner.

In late 2017, Kris Jenner ponied up nearly $10 million for a spec-built mansion elsewhere in Hidden Hills (it happens to be directly across the street from the much larger home of her daughter Kim Kardashian and son-in-law Kanye West).

Ms. Jenner still owns her old Hidden Hills house — the Mediterranean-style one made famous on Keeping Up With the Kardashians — though she only uses it for filming purposes these days. And maybe to house some of her assistants/glam squad, we dunno.

Anywho, Ms. Jenner is learning about art and architecture — for which we applaud her — and wanted a more sophisticated look in her new home. For that she hired the acclaimed Waldo Fernandez and Clements Design to imbue the property with a “calming” energy.

Yolanda confesses we absolutely love this place — we’d live there in a heartbeat, and the art, furniture and materials are all top-notch and very correct. The one (slight) criticism to be made is that everything feels a tad too impersonal. Kinda like a giant hotel suite. A beautiful five-star hotel suite, to be sure.

Watch the video and tell us if we’re wrong. Does anything in the house — other than her “proud of” sheep — have any real meaning to Ms. Jenner? It sure ain’t seem that way, but what do we know?

For more delicious pictures of the new Kris Jenner estate, check out the Architectural Digest story in full.

So there’s the properties. See y’all, that wasn’t so bad. But you haven’t heard the last from Kardashian real estate, not by a long shot. Within the past few months, Kris Jenner dropped another $12 million out in La Quinta’s exclusive Madison Club community, and Kylie Jenner just copped a $13.5 million “in-town” pad in the mountains above Beverly Hills. So we fully expect those places to be redone and eventually skip their way into a future Architectural Digest issue.

And just for kicks and giggles, check out Kourtney Kardashian’s Richard Landry-designed Calabasas mansion, also decorated by Martyn Lawrence Bullard — and also featured in Architectural Digest.

See kids, we’ve discovered the Kardashians’ talent — their knack for amassing and spending loads of money. Thankfully, they mostly invest in real estate, which helps keep Yolanda in the black.

  1. BE Parker says:

    Please stop with the K people. They’ve done less than nothing to earn their money, much less any degree of respect. Any taste they have is bought, not earned.

  2. AMC Gremlin says:

    Too bad, thought Yolanda was better than writing about this pig family yet again. Anytime they’re on TV I think of the “Addams family theme song” which suits these gypsies well. A real life FREAKSHOW!!

  3. sst says:

    what a great laugh for early in the mornin’! damien hirst could be inspired photograph the closet for a purse series, similar to the drug cabinets. time to start unloading all that overpriced contemporary art and designer name mid-century modern furniture.

  4. Sandy Santa Monica says:

    Love ‘am or hate ’em, the market is simply responding to the value these people add to a company’s bottom line (no pun intended) in the age of social media. If market forces determine a football player is worth $100m a year, in our economic system, and my occupation, he is. The influence they have, or the way they spend it may well be unethical or selfish, but in regard to brand value, they have earned it. IMHO 😁.

  5. Curly Haired Girl says:

    I bet the Management and Homeowners of the Madison Club are freaking out with the K Trash clan in their midst. The Madison Club prides itself in its wealthy and very classy homeowners. Egad! I can’t imagine what Cocktail Hour would look like with Kim, Kanye, , and the rest of that brood in their midst.

  6. Petra says:

    For myself I love seeing the Kartrashian homes. Has there ever been a bigger family of narcissists? Not one of them has an ounce of shame or taste. Pretty funny

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *