Bella Thorne snags Sherman Oaks starter house, promptly paints it purple

Nearly a year ago (where does the time go?!) Yolanda revealed young Miss Chloë Grace Moretz’s very adult multi-million-dollar Studio City starter house. In the post, we briefly referenced an ongoing “feud” (publicity stunt?) involving Miss Moretz, the Kardashian cabal, and another ingénue named Bella Thorne.

We must apologize for dissing Miss Thorne by saying we had never heard of her. Perhaps that wasn’t entirely truthful. We had never seen a film or TeeVee show she performed in (and we still ain’t) but we always often see her face on those hilarious supermarket tabloids. So folks out there must find her interesting enough to read about. She’s certainly cute, although every time we see her mug we can’t help but think of Jessica Chastain.

And that’s a comparison that does not necessarily favor Miss Thorne. But we digress.

“Ohhh, Miss Thorne…”

Thanks to our trusty pal Wikipedia, Yolanda happens to know that the bisexual Miss Thorne has starred in shows like Big Love and Shake It Up. More importantly, however, she’s reportedly hot and heavy with a guy named Tyler Posey, a dude we ain’t never heard of before (no lie, we swear!) Perhaps that’s why Miss Thorne was recently spotted making out with another young starlet named Charlie Puth?

Ah, such tender young love.

Recently a mysterious blind trust paid $2,011,500 for a brand-new mini-mansion deep in the heart of the loved (and loathed) San Fernando Valley. And Yolanda just happens to know that the new owner is none other than — you guessed it — 19-year-old Miss Thorne.

Now, although Miss Thorne and Miss Moretz are less than a year apart in age and they both have now purchased multi-million-dollar houses in the Valley, the two properties could not be more different. While Miss Moretz’s house lies in a super-quiet gated community in a very desirable area of Studio City, Miss Thorne’s house sits right up on a busy and definitely not glamorous street in a not-particularly sexy (but increasingly pricey) part of Sherman Oaks.

Miss Thorne’s house is also smaller and less expensive than Miss Moretz’s. However, her place is also much newer and thus has more luxury features and gee-whiz gizmos that Miss Moretz’s rather dated pad.

But enough of our silly comparisons.

The walled and gated .18-acre spec-property was completed earlier this year and listed at $1,885,000. Remember, kiddies, the real estate market is hot hot hot right now. So Miss Thorne ended up forking out a brutal $126,500 more than the asking price. Looks like she had to fend off some stiff competition, eh?

The front door opens up to a cliche double-height entryway facing a long staircase. A modern chandelier hangs overhead. Bizarrely, there’s a glass wine rack/cellar/closet tucked under the staircase, an odious and gimmicky feature that means all guests of Miss Thorne will be required to perform the perfunctory ooh and ahh-ing over her wine collection (or Capri Sun collection, in her 19-year-old case).

We’re not sure when, how, or why this silly wine-rack-under-stairs trend started, but it’s definitely a trend now. Yolanda distinctly remembers a similar setup in little Miss Kylie Jenner’s new house, too.

Faux-distressed hardwood floors continue throughout the Traditional-style casa. There’s a vaulted ceiling and fireplace in the living room, another vaulted ceiling in the attached formal dining room, and a large center island in the Thermador-appliance-equipped kitchen, which opens to the formal living room (with another fireplace). Around the corner from the kitchen is a walk-in pantry with a sliding door that looks like it came from some centuries-old barn in Belgium or somewhere.

Speaking of the family room, it has that trendy wall of disappearing glass that brings the outdoors inside and vice versa. There’s a small covered terrace, a dog-run-sized grass patch, and a wooden deck sporting a large umbrella. Yolanda is sure the fair-skinned Miss Thorne will put that device to good use.

Even the pool isn’t just a regular pool/spa combo — it’s got a sunbathing shelf and what looks to be a waterfall feature, too.

Last but not least, the master suite is equipped with a fireplace and a marble-slathered bathroom with dual vanities, a soaking tub, and a walk-in glass-enclosed shower with rainfall showerhead.

But wait, there’s more.

“…bathing in the purple rain…”

Miss Thorne has apparently decided to spice up her new home with a fresh coat of paint. And while we typically love a unique look, we can’t help but think of America’s favorite purple dinosaur. Looks like he was squeezed, processed, pasteurized, and splattered all over Miss Thorne’s house.

“If I lived under the sea-sea-sea….”

That’s mythical creature abuse, Miss Thorne! But remember, she ain’t your typical valley girl.

Listing agent: Maya Librush, MD Properties
Miss Thorne’s agent: Peter Lorimer, PLG Estates

  1. Me says:

    U must live under the rock if u don’t know who Miss Bella Thorne is.
    ‘That’s mythical creature abuse, Miss Thorne!’ a girl painted her house pruple,are you serious??

  2. Johanna Whetstone says:

    yes purple house ✔️ out of control trash ✔️parties with gun shots and helicopters ✔️✔️ asshat ✔️✔️✔️

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