Beyoncé just called and requested Yolanda’s assistance on her emergency late-night Target run in Westwood. It seems Mrs. Carter can’t decide which color of those lovely $19.99 Faux Fur Heart Throw Pillows should adorn her $88 million Bel Air home. So we must dash.
But before the commencement of burnin’ rubber, here’s an itty-bitty story morsel to tide you over. Professional baseball star Joey “In Flanders Fields” Votto has a new vacation house.
In case y’all don’t know, 35-year-old Mr. Votto — he’s been with the Cincinnati Reds his entire professional career — is one of the MLB’s brightest stars. He really knows how to play with balls and bats. So to speak. According to our old pal Mr. Wiki Pedia: “At the end of the 2018 season, among all active players [Mr. Votto] was first in career on-base percentage (.427), second in OPS (.957) and walks (1,104), and fourth in batting average (.311).”
Wowzers! Calm down, Mr. Votto. We get it — you’re very good at what you do.
And in fact, Mr. Votto is so good at what he does that he currently commands the 9th-biggest sports contract in all the world. Cool — but exactly how much cheddar does that entail? Glad you asked! $225,000,000. Yes, kids, nearly a quarter of a billion bucks to strut his stuff on that diamond.
Anywho. Mr. Votto may be Canadian by birth and a Buckeye by residency, but he ain’t no dummy. He’s quite smart, in fact — he already knows that LA is the best city on earth. As such, he has elected to drop $10,500,000 on a sleek oceanfront home right on the sandy shores of the Hermosa Beach Strand.
Is Mr. Votto single? Yolanda is not sure. But he’s unmarried and child-free (as far as we know) so this place qualifies as his version of a slick SoCal bachelor pad.
Spec-built in 2018 by local firm Moloney Development, the three-story contemporary is described as a “Coastal Modern” in marketing materials and features 3,826-square-feet of living space.
As y’all might expect — this being the coveted Strand — the house is set cheek-to-jowl with its neighbors. The lot measures a measly 0.05-acre, among the smallest we’ve ever discussed on this blog. But the upside is that Mr. Votto won’t have to worry about hiring a gardener when he’s outta town — there’s no yard at all. Unless you consider the acres of sandy beach behind his house a yard, of course.
Luxury amenities abound within the structure: there’s a Savant home automation system, radiant heated floors, four fireplaces, an elevator servicing all three floors, Dornbracht Plumbing, Bocci lighting, Miele kitchen appliances, four (!!!) SubZero Refrigerators, and on and on.
The front door opens directly to the home’s second floor, which contains all the main public areas — living room, formal dining space, kitchen, family room. A disappearing wall of glass leads to a balcony overlooking the bike path directly underneath. Neat — as those yuppies whiz by on their rose-colored Schwinns, Mr. Votto can practice his aim by pitching baseballs at their bobbing heads.
Just kidding! Our Mr. Votto is way too mature (and smart) to engage in silliness like that.
There are a total of 4 beds and 4.5 baths in this casa. The master suite is located on the third floor and features a wee private balcony, a glassy shower and walk-in closet.
The home’s lower level gets the party started with a massive wet bar and a fireplace-equipped terrace. A low, bougainvillea-covered wall discourages uninvited freeloaders from joining the fun but (thankfully) does not completely eliminate the ocean views.
Some of Mr. Votto’s new Hermosa Beach neighbors include billionaire In-N-Out Burger heiress Lynsi Snyder, billionaire Rockstar energy drink founder Russ Weiner and funnyman Jimmy Kimmel, who is also Hermosa’s de facto mayor. That guy who owns not one, not two, but three different homes in the city.