Listen, everyone, today’s tale is going to be a quick one. We really wish we had time to chat and get to know y’all first, maybe even buy you dinner, but those fires are a-ragin’ and traffic is egregious and we are just plain tuckered out. We do apologize.
Anyway, today’s story is a bit of a surprise even to Yolanda. You see, it was only about two years ago that professional basketballer extraordinaire LeBron James paid almost $21 million — $20,986,000, to be exact, as was first revealed by Our Mama — for a big and decidedly Traditional-style house down in the wildly wealthy community of Brentwood Park. The sale remains the most ever paid for a home in that particular neighborhood.
By all accounts, Mr. James has so far spent very little time in his $21 million pad. After all, he plays professionally for the Cleveland Cavaliers and as such is on the road a majority of the year. And then, if y’all recall, there was that unfortunate racially-tinged vandalism incident that occurred on Mr. James’s Brentwood Park home last year. Yolanda rather thought he might be inclined to say “sayonara” to LA after that whole headache. But nope!
Also in the 90049 and less than two miles away from Mr. James’s current home is a big new spec-mansion. The Tigertail Road pad was listed a few months back for $30 million amid fanfare and a swanky “VIP Unveiling” event attended by new Encino homeowners Mauricio Umansky and Kyle Richards.
A few days back, the house transferred for $23,000,000. That’s considerably less than what the developer originally wanted, but still way more than the $5.1 million they paid for the property in 2015. It is also — according to Yolanda’s research — the only sale in Brentwood to top the $20 million mark for 2017.
Naturally, Yolanda wondered who the big-bucks buyer was. At first we wondered if it might be Adam Levine. After all, he’s selling both his current homes and is looking for something big and new to shelter his growing family. But nope. Yolanda can tell everyone that the buyer is none other than — wait for it, wait for it — Mr. Lebron James.
Let’s take a quick peek at his new property, shall we?
Although the new Brentwood home is only marginally more expensive than his old Brentwood house, the structure itself is signifiacntly larger: a fat 15,846-square-feet here versus “just” 9,000-square-feet over there. The new residence is also considerably more private — while still visible from the public street out front, the house sits on a knoll well above the road and behind a long gated driveway. Said driveway leads to some rather inelegant (but convenient!) garage doors.
Out back, the house sports a saltwater pool and a big grassy field that’s perfect for dogs or a basketball court, although Yolanda does not know if Mr. James will attempt to install such a thing. Gotta love those over-the-treetop views of the Pacific ocean, too.
Conveniently located right off the entryway is the super-fancy kitchen, which sports natural French oak and marble floors reclaimed from Spain. There is also marble everywhere: countertops, backsplash, walls. They probably had to raid a whole damn Spanish quarry for this place!
Anyway, the kitchen has an exquisite-lookin’ La Cornue range and opens to various eating and family rooms. Great for entertaining, as they say.
Look, there’s even marble floors on the terrace!
Four of the home’s eight bedrooms are upstairs. Among these is the master suite, which features more honey-hued hardwood floors, a fireplace with a marble surround, his-and-hers closets and his-and-hers bathrooms. At least one of the baths is done up quite opulently in floor-to-ceiling marble.
Even when scrubbing down your hiney, kiddies, it’s never a good idea to forget how rich you really are. This bathroom will always remind you.
An elevator connects the upper bedchambers to the home’s lower level, which is kitted out to impress even the most jaded party animal. There’s an onyx wet bar that is bigger than many regular folk’s kitchens, a giant theater, a wine cellar, a cigar room with “air purifying technology”, an auto gallery, a guest suite and an indoor-outdoor gym connecting to a spa with steam room, sauna, shower and massage room. Talk about resort-style livin’ — if most resorts were this nice, we might be tempted to go on vacation more often. But Yolanda digresses.
Now for a wee geography lesson, y’all. Our Mr. James’s new pad is located in Brentwood, but not in Brentwood Park like his old mansion. Brentwood Park is a very leafy and very flat neighborhood that is conveniently centered around Sunset Boulevard. This house, however, is located up in the hills of Brentwood. It’s still only five minutes to Sunset, but things are considerably quieter up here.
Yolanda is unsure why Mr. James would buy this house. Maybe he wants to be in the hills, maybe he’s looking for a size upgrade, maybe he’s looking to invest. Or maybe he just wants something new?
But if you’re worried that our boy might be overextending himself financially, don’t be. Remember, Mr. James hauled in over $30 million this year alone, and his career earnings have topped a truly shocking $233 million. And that doesn’t include endorsements or any other business ventures. So rest assured that he can afford the $44 million in Brentwood real estate he owns, and regardless of whether he sells his “old” house or not.
Some of Mr. James’s nearest new neighbors — those from whom he could reasonably borrow a cup of sugar, or whatever — include other amazingly wealthy folks like businessman Randall Kaplan, Riot Games CEO Brandon Beck, and makeup mogul Jamie Kern Lima.
Listing and selling agent: Santiago Arana, The Agency