Beyoncé A No-Show At Jay-Z’s 40/40


Ah well, at least it got everyone’s excitement up, for even just a minute.

Yesterday, rumors were flying that superstar Beyoncé was set to make an appearance at the reopening of Jay-Z’s 40/40 nightclub inManhattan, but we eventually learned that she decided to stay home.

According to Perez Hilton, Jay arrived solo to the event and smiled and shook hands with everyone while welcoming them into his club. He also spent the evening showing friends pictures of his new little daughter Blue Ivy on his phone. To be expected! Very sweet.

Apparently Beyoncé is still resting pretty at LenoxHillHospital, which–to be honest–is a little strange. I get having the best treatment out there for the birth, but it’s eleven days later! I’m thinking it’s time for her to make room for some other patients; don’t you? By eleven days, you should already be settled into your baby-filled home!

But knowing Beyoncé, she will do everything in her own time. In the meantime, Jay seemed like the happiest, proudest parent ever, and I’m sure had a great time last night with Swizz Beatz, Russell Simmons, Selita Ebanks and Ashanti. Not too shabby for friends!

So I guess the first glimpse of post-baby Beyoncé will be another time. But don’t fret, fans! We will see her out and about eventually. She’s gotta come out of that hospital one of these days! So Beyoncé was a no-show at Jay-Z’s 40/40. But we’ll be sure to see her soon!

DIRTRIBUTOR: Sam

Gossip Heavy


Beyoncé’s life has clearly been gossip heavy lately, with the news of the birth of her daughter spreading like wildfire across the world. But you know what’s gossip heavy this week? Promo photos released of the star for her already-out album 4.

Media outlets are starting to comment on the still released recently, which is for a new advertising campaign for the singer’s album. So what’s causing all of the controversy? The same thing that was a problem back in 2008 with her L’Oreal ads. It appears as though Photoshop is back again. (Ha. As if it went anywhere.) Beyoncé is looking noticeably lighter in the ad than she does in real life. Like, unnaturally so. This was also the problem with the L’Oreal ads, and the company took some heat for making her look lighter than her skin tone actually is.

So this time, I’m totally confused because this is not a specific company or endorsement doing it. It’s Beyoncé’s people doing it. And I know some people will say, “Oh, it’s the lighting.” Well, it’s not. Sure, they’ve definitely got her under some serious lights for the shot, which features her in a black netted bikini, sprawled across a leopard print couch.

But to say it’s just lighting is silly. If you look at only her top half, she actually looks Caucasian. And of course the blonde hair isn’t helping. The bottom half (her legs) looks a tiny bit better. But that top half? You can’t be trying to selling Beyoncé CDs by trying to make her look white! It’s causing quite the controversy.

And now I’m sure people will say that perhaps that was the point–her album needed a little controversy. But I’m not buying it. I think this was a classic case of execs hoping that nobody would really notice but on a subconscious level, they would. Hmm. Sounds sneaky to us, dudes!

What do YOU think about the whole thing? On purpose, or not? And if it was on purpose, what are your thoughts on that?

To me, that kind of thing is never cool and shouldn’t be tolerated at all. In the same way that you can’t photoshop a white artist to make her look a little darker, there’s something just weird and creepy and straight up wrong about making B look lighter.

You’d think they would have learned from the L’Oreal fiasco, too! People notice these kinds of things, and it doesn’t make them happy!

DIRTRIBUTOR: Sam

NY Hospital Had To Be Rebuilt For Beyonce, To Be Renamed Blue Ivy Hill


And we thought Elin Nordegren, the ex-wife of Tiger Woods, was the queen of tear-downs!  Now we find out Lenox Hill Hospital tore down 6-8 rooms so that Queen Beyonce and entourage could have a custom 2-room suite constructed with mahogany walls and other luxe accoutrements.

perezhilton is reporting that the suite was completed a month before Blue Ivy Carter’s birth and just stood empty because of course, Beyonce couldn’t use any room that had been previously used by anyone else.  Does she ever?

Now the question is, what does Lenox Hill Hospital do with this suite?  As one observer noted, “You’d want to live in there!”  Do they rent it out by the hour?  Would you pay to tour it as the Blue Ivy birth manger?

We think we have a solution.  Just rename the whole place Blue Ivy Hill Hospital.  Close it to the public (Oh come on, NYC is full of hospitals and what’s a little ride uptown?), and keep a small staff there exclusively to serve the needs of Beyonce, Jay-Z, their extended family, and any friends like “Aunty Rih” (Rihanna) or Gwyneth Paltrow, who may be visiting and in need of an emergency lobotomy or whatever.

Now that we know the NY hospital that had to be rebuilt for Beyonce is to be renamed Blue Ivy Hill Hospital, we can rest easy.  Should a medical emergency occur, all will be well for the Carters and their friends–that is, until they have a falling out over the waiting time for emergency care or who gets to have an MRI first, and threaten to sue.  Well, you can’t please everyone.

DIRTRIBUTOR:  Stephanie Sharf

 

 

 

 

In Other Celebrity News, Jay-Z Is Rapping About A Plant


I don’t listen to rap music much but this morning I caught a catchy tune called “Glory” recorded by none other than the new daddy himself, Jay-Z.  There was something about a plant called Blue Ivy in there, a reference to Paris, and a miscarriage.  I guess this is celebrity news of a sort because putting it all together, it seems to mean that his new daughter Blue Ivy was conceived in Paris and that Beyonce previously had a miscarriage.  Or, it could be that the celebrity news is that Jay-Z has become a horticulturist and is rapping about a new hybrid called Blue Ivy that he’s nurtured, that he got the seed in Paris, and that Beyonce mis-carried the plants and lost some on the way back to the U.S.  Anything is possible.

All we know is that our morning newscast kicked off with the words, “In other celebrity news, Jay-Z is rapping about a plant called ‘Blue Ivy’ and he and his wife Beyonce have announced the birth of a daughter by that name.”  Unclear on the concept, newscaster.  There is no other “Blue Ivy” than Blue Ivy Carter, got that?  If you do have an ivy plant that color, return it to the nursery for a full refund–it’s not allowed to exist anymore on this planet.

TMZ has the audio if you want to check it out.  The disclosure of the miscarriage has led commenters to ask why Beyonce was running around in sky-high heels when she was very preggo and why her doctor allowed that, as if it’s anybody’s business except the couple’s.  Jay-Z put it best: “Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/We was afraid you’d disappear/But nah baby you magic.” A bit confusing because if there was actually a previous miscarriage, the “you” he is referring to no longer exists and has indeed disappeared and this is a new “you” he is addressing in the form of another baby named Blue Ivy.

You be takin’ care of lil’ glory baby you hear, Jay-Z?  Best wishes >3

DIRTRIBUTOR:  Stephanie Sharf

If Story Is True, Beyonce has Some ‘Splaining To Do Because New Daddy Couldn’t See His Premature Twins


OMG BEYONCE AND JAY-Z HAD THEIR BABY!!!!*#@(~&!IH#UQRkw.  Wahoo Mountain Dew.

Kidding!  Of course I’m happy for them.  They’re one of my favorite couples in the biz and I adore them.  I’m sure the baby is perfect.  I’m also sure that if this story is true, Beyonce has some ‘splaining to do because a new daddy was p-i-s-s-e-d that he couldn’t see his premature twins.

According to TMZ, Neil Coulon told the NY Daily News that after his prematurely born twins arrived, not only were his relatives booted out of the waiting room by security, but he was kept out of the NICU and couldn’t see his newborns—all because of Beyonce and Jay-Z’s major security!!  “Three times they stopped me from entering or exiting the NICU and it happened once on Friday — just because they wanted to use the hallway,” he says.

What the eff, guys?!  We totes understand the need for extra bodyguards with a high-profile couple like Jay and Bey, but this is just nuts!  In general, no parent should be kept from their newborn, but to deny a new daddy the opportunity to see his twins in the NICU?!??!?!??!  That’s just whack.

Not sure who to blame for this one, but I’ll hold off on pointing any fingers until we find out if this is even true.  Hope the twinsies are okay, Neil!  (And congrats. <3)

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