John Stamos Has A Ridiculously Nice Butt

Everyone should probably quit calling him Uncle Jesse.  Does YOUR uncle look like this?  Didn’t think so.

John Stamos is 48 years old now—yes, 48!—but he never seems to age.  Is it wrong that a 20-something woman like me would love nothing more than to spend a half hour in a dark room with him?  Probably.  Does it matter?  Nope.  We’ve all been wondering what his secret is.  HOW does he maintain that fantastic body, that flawless face, THAT HAIR?!!?!?

Well we’ve got at least once answer now, and we finally get why John Stamos has a ridiculously nice butt: Pilates!  People.com quotes him from his visit on “The Talk,” where he said, “I’m the only guy in there.  They plot before I get there: ‘How can we make John look ridiculous?’  Because every exercise involved my legs up, like I’m in the stirrups or something.”

Ewwwww!!!  That’s so awkward and yet…I am oddly turned on.  Rest assured, though, that the uncomfortable stirrup-like positions are well worth it.  “But the good thing is, I have a beautiful woman’s body now.  I have a great a** now.”

There is only one man on this earth that can have a woman’s body, pull it off, and then joke about it later without sounding like a total creeper: John freaking Stamos.

All your hard work has definitely paid off, buddy!  If you ever need a Pilates partner, *cough* I’m extremely available.